1 Year Anniversary and Good News

The good news is that “no new suspicious spots” were visible on the PET / CT scan.  I am grateful to receive the good news and so quickly.  The area in the pelvis is still lighting up on the scan but it DID NOT SPREAD, so that is a huge blessing for which I am thankful.  I feel like I have been given the gift of time: time to continue to lead a normal life without medical appointments and procedures. My next appointment with the oncologist is October 30th and I plan to make the most of October!!!

This past weekend was my one year anniversary as a cancer survivor.  A friend gave me a small, beautiful wooden box as a gift to celebrate it.  What she didn’t realize is the significance of the ginkgo tree on the top of the box.



The ginkgo trees were one of the few things to survive the atomic blast at Hiroshima. While almost everything else was destroyed, the ginkgo trees though charred, survived and were soon healthy again. I love the symbolism and I love the fact that my friend chose this box for me without even knowing this significance. It is a symbol of HOPE.

When I reflect on the past year, I realize the many positive changes in how I approach life. Cancer has made me forgive and let go of bitterness, heal and deepen relationships, and worry less and trust God more. It has made me realize that accepting help from others is not a sign of weakness but is a blessing to both the giver and myself. It has made me realize the time is NOW and to stop waiting for that special day to burn the candle, use the good dishes or do what I desire. But best of all it has made me stop comparing: myself, my kids, my home, my job, etc. God has blessed me abundantly and He has me exactly where I am suppose to be.

Ps. 49:6 “Be still and know that I am God”


Next Step

A PET / CT scan is scheduled for this Friday, September 26th to determine if the cancer has spread beyond the pelvic area.  Dr. Brader always renews my hope.  I want to hold onto the comments when he tells me the cancer may not have went beyond the groin lymph nodes, that it is a good sign that it hasn’t spread distantly yet, and that by the time it does,  there may be a new less toxic drug available for me.  Then the doubting part of me says the cancer is present in the pelvis so why wouldn’t it spread farther out, and I stress about having to deal with whatever the PET scan shows.  I feel emotionally weak and cannot imagine having another surgery ANYWHERE.  Then I reign my thoughts in and remind myself to just deal with today.  Today is a rainy, electric blanket, Netflix-watching day.  One in which my family and I belly laugh at pictures online taken of people’s reactions at a haunted house. One in which we ALL pitch in and do the chores. One in which we strategize with Settlers of Catan.  It may seem like a simple day to some, but to me it seems simply wonderful. Holding on and taking one day at a time,  Just Pamela

Ps. 118:24  “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it”.