A Lesson in Advocating Gracefully

I have delayed writing as it has been a rough week. An appointment earlier in the week put me in a funk and I attempted to advocate for myself without success.  So on Friday when I began my monthly infusions of a bone strengthening medication, I was in a surly mood.  My disposition was not helped when I realized the lack of privacy in the infusion room. I was so close to the man in the chair next to me that Richard could not get my IV pole out between the chairs so I could use the restroom without moving my whole chair. I realize hundreds of people have been treated in this room  prior to today, so why am I the only one appalled to be able to hear and see the medical information of others? I let each personnel who had contact with me know my feelings and I later marched out of that room to get a copy of my patient rights. Yes, I was in rare form that day.

A sweet nurse came to me who handled me so well. She squatted down next to me blocking the neighbor’s view and spoke to me in a quiet voice. She listened to my concerns and offered solutions. She was so soothing that I felt myself begin to soften. While I was getting my IV inserted, Richard surprised me with a speciality tea. I began conversing with the man who was literally an arms-length away from me, and my attitude began to shift. My joyful spirit was back.

The lack of control in my care and seeing so many other people with the same disease appearing so ill took its toll on me that day.  I am somewhat embarrassed of my childlike manner.  While I am still not completely fine with the set-up of the situation, I pray that next time I am able to advocate for myself in a more graceful manner and that I may bring joy to that room instead of angst.

Following the appointment, Richard and I went to stay with family in the Chicago area for the weekend. We had wonderful visits but once again the side effects of the infusion limited our activities. It is hard not to get discouraged when mentally I want to do so many different activities but my body physically is not up to it.  Our family members were very accommodating and we felt spoiled, blessed, and renewed by our time together.

This week on Wednesday, March 11th, I will receive one cyberknife radiation treatment to the femur. The following week the orthopedic surgeon will view the xray of my femur to guide me on my mobility. I am walking without the walker for short distances in my home now which feels liberating.

Jesus Calling Devotional for March 8th “Let Me Help You through this day. The challenges you face are far too great for you to handle alone. You are keenly aware of your helplessness in the scheme of events you face.  The awareness opens up a choice:  to doggedly go it alone or walk with Me in humble dependence.  Actually, this choice is continually before you, but difficulties highlight the decision-making process.  So consider it all joy when you are enveloped in various trials.  These are gifts from Me, reminding you to rely on Me alone.” 


8 thoughts on “A Lesson in Advocating Gracefully

  1. Wendy says:

    Pamela, your ability to find the positive in each situation is so powerful and you are such an inspiration. You seriously have no idea how much you impact the ones around you in such a positive way. Always thinking of you! ❤

  2. Jill Gilbert says:

    I am sorry you had such a rough week…sometimes it is okay to let your true feelings be heard. You certainly do not have to apologize for letting your emotions get the best of you! I think of you daily and am amazed by your strength and your positive attitude. Prayers that your treatment goes well tomorrow.

  3. Brandy says:

    Pamela you are truly beautiful inside and out, one of the most amazing woman I have ever met!

  4. Deb Homant says:

    Hoping all went well for you today. You always find a way to be positive and you are loved more than you know. Hugs, love, and prayers.

  5. Dawn says:

    I pray today is a better one for you. Hugs,

  6. Linda Van Houten says:

    Had you on my mind all weekend and just wanted you to know that you are an inspiration to so many including myself. Praying for that miracle and strength. Let me know how we can help if needed!

  7. Gina Wieczorek says:

    Don’t worry about having an “off day”, if anyone deserves one it’s you – and then you turn it around. I don’t know how you do it.

    I wanted to let you know that my Mother recently finished her course of treatments with the cyberknife and had no trouble or side effects at all. All the staff was loving and kind. Four weeks after her last treatment she had a PET and the tumor in her lung was reduced 50%! I hope for you the same experience and even better results!

    BTW my daughter Casey sees RK often and speaks very highly of him – good job Mom 🙂

    Prayers for you,

  8. Dawn says:

    Thinking and saying prayers for you Pamela.

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